8 Tips for a Happy Marriage




May 17, 2008

 

Happy Valentine's Day Eve!

With the day of love approaching tomorrow I thought it would be fun to offer some unsolicited advice from me and my husband.  We came up with this list based on our own experiences and what has helped us.  Marriage isn't easy, you constantly have to work at it.  Hopefully this list makes it a little less difficult for you and your significant other.  The 8 tips are arranged in no significant order except the last one - it's the one piece of advice we offer the most!

          1) Get involved in a church.

• Me: It's important to have your spiritual life in order to maintain a healthy emotional life.
• Josh: Getting plugged into a church gives your marriage a solid foundation.

          2) Learn your spouse's love language.

• Me: We studied "The 5 Love Languages" for our premarital counseling and it was beneficial to discover that we have very different love languages.
• Josh: Knowing not only how to show affection but how your spouse wants to give affection is good to know.

          3) Go to bed at the same time.

• Me: This one's pretty straightforward!
• Josh: Most of the time this means I fall asleep on the couch then she wakes me up to go to bed.

          4) Remember you were a wife/husband first and mom/dad second.

• Me: This advice was given to me by our Sunday School teacher and it's so true! Once the kids grow up and move out your spouse will still be there.  It's important to nourish that relationship just as much as the one with your kids.
• Josh: It's easy to lose sight of your relationship with your spouse when you start to have kids. Neglecting your relationship with your spouse will only grow you further apart.

          5) Pray together.

• Me: There is so much power in prayer!  What better way to keep your foundation solid than to be in constant communication with the Savior.  
• Josh: Praying not only for each other but for others helps keep you both humble and compassionate.

          6) Write each other letters.

• Me: I love the sincerity of a handwritten letter.   
• Josh: It's a good way to record and memorialize your relationship through the years.

          7) Support each other's interests and goals.

• Me: I am so thankful for the support Josh gave me when I cheered in the NFL.  It would have been easy for him to encourage me to not do it and spend more time with him but he knew how much it meant to me.
• Josh:  Heather supports me by giving me time to announce basketball games for UNF.  I am very appreciative of that because I know how hard it is for her with Graham.

Gentlemen might need to sit down for this one...

          8) Create a separate shopping account for your wife.

• Me: This has really helped us so much!  It was difficult for me to be able to keep track of my portion of the budget when all of our money was in one account.  By separating my discretionary money into my own account I can ensure that I stay within budget.  (Keep in mind we still have a joint account that everything comes out of.  This is just my portion of the budget.)
• Josh: Establishing a threshold is good for both sides as the husband knows in advance how much damage will be done.  It also gives the wife her freedom but boundaries to work within. 

So that's our list!  What do you think?  Is there anything you would add or remove?  

We hope you enjoy your Valentine's and many years of wedded bliss!