8 Tips for a Happy Marriage

Thursday, February 13, 2014

8 Tips for a Happy Marriage
May 17, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day Eve!

With the day of love approaching tomorrow I thought it would be fun to offer some unsolicited advice from me and my husband.  We came up with this list based on our own experiences and what has helped us.  Marriage isn't easy, you constantly have to work at it.  Hopefully this list makes it a little less difficult for you and your significant other.  The 8 tips are arranged in no significant order except the last one - it's the one piece of advice we offer the most!

          1) Get involved in a church.
    • Me: It's important to have your spiritual life in order to maintain a healthy emotional life.
    • Josh: Getting plugged into a church gives your marriage a solid foundation.
          2) Learn your spouse's love language.
    • Me: We studied "The 5 Love Languages" for our premarital counseling and it was beneficial to discover that we have very different love languages.
    • Josh: Knowing not only how to show affection but how your spouse wants to give affection is good to know.
          3) Go to bed at the same time.
    • Me: This one's pretty straightforward!
    • Josh: Most of the time this means I fall asleep on the couch then she wakes me up to go to bed.
          4) Remember you were a wife/husband first and mom/dad second.
    • Me: This advice was given to me by our Sunday School teacher and it's so true! Once the kids grow up and move out your spouse will still be there.  It's important to nourish that relationship just as much as the one with your kids.
    • Josh: It's easy to lose sight of your relationship with your spouse when you start to have kids. Neglecting your relationship with your spouse will only grow you further apart.
          5) Pray together.
    • Me: There is so much power in prayer!  What better way to keep your foundation solid than to be in constant communication with the Savior.  
    • Josh: Praying not only for each other but for others helps keep you both humble and compassionate.
          6) Write each other letters.
    • Me: I love the sincerity of a handwritten letter.   
    • Josh: It's a good way to record and memorialize your relationship through the years.
          7) Support each other's interests and goals.
    • Me: I am so thankful for the support Josh gave me when I cheered in the NFL.  It would have been easy for him to encourage me to not do it and spend more time with him but he knew how much it meant to me.
    • Josh:  Heather supports me by giving me time to announce basketball games for UNF.  I am very appreciative of that because I know how hard it is for her with Graham.
Gentlemen might need to sit down for this one...

          8) Create a separate shopping account for your wife.
    • Me: This has really helped us so much!  It was difficult for me to be able to keep track of my portion of the budget when all of our money was in one account.  By separating my discretionary money into my own account I can ensure that I stay within budget.  (Keep in mind we still have a joint account that everything comes out of.  This is just my portion of the budget.)
    • Josh: Establishing a threshold is good for both sides as the husband knows in advance how much damage will be done.  It also gives the wife her freedom but boundaries to work within. 

So that's our list!  What do you think?  Is there anything you would add or remove?  

We hope you enjoy your Valentine's and many years of wedded bliss!


  1. Great list!! Loved reading this and I LOVE #8, which doesn't apply to my relationship at the moment, but would love to implement once home! Our advice is "Keep things Light". Don't take things so seriously, laugh at things we cant control, laugh with each other, just laugh! Marriage and Life can be stressful so keeping it light has helped us with the curve balls! ;) XOXO

  2. Great list! Totally agree with these! My add on's that we live by as well are: Never go to bed angry. Communication- I believe communication is KEY. Whether you have had a bad day, somethings on your mind, or even if your day has been amazing... Communicate that with your spouse, tell them how you are feeling, and allow them to help you in any way possible. And I think another would be: To learn to let things go- whether they are big things or little things, working through good times or bad, learning to let something go and not hold a grudge is big!

  3. love this post! heather, I can really tell you're writing from the heart, and you sincere advice is some that is actually worth actually taking. So excited for you and the heathered life!

    1. Thank you Chelsea, isn't this a fun adventure we're on?! Thanks for keeping me up-to-date on the current trends!

  4. #4 is the most beneficial for me. My long-term boyfriend and I have a child, and after she was born things got really really rough. She just turned two and we are finally getting back on track, but it really is because we forgot how to be in a relationship with each other. I think that is one of the biggest things that causes rocky marriages when children are born. Wonderful list though. :)

  5. I totally agree with the tips you listed. I think those are really helpful in maintaining a strong and healthy married life. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship and everyone who experiences difficulties needs to realize that there are things that must be considered, sacrificed, given and taken for each other. I just hope that a lot of people who are experiencing marital problems will get to read your post. Thanks for sharing, Heather! All the best to you and your family!

    Natalie Lamb @ Good Life Therapy


Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. I read each & every one!

Proudly designed by Mlekoshi pixel perfect web designs